And now as part of my continuing series of posts dedicated to the wit and wisdom of Bob Costas I know present Mr. Costas talking about fire.
Thank you Manhattan Infidel and thank you for giving me the chance to address your readers. For I think it is important to reach out to the other side of the political spectrum. Even if they are stupid knuckle draggers like your readers. Seriously. Idiots who probably still use 100 watt bulbs. Idiots who do not believe in global warming.
Note: Jesus Bob cut my readers some slack. Many are quite intelligent and only a few like King Shamus or Innominatus or Jim at Conservatives on Fire are knuckle dragging reprobates with criminal records.
More information is being made available surrounding the car crash involving Dallas Cowboys linebacker Josh Brent and the loser Jerry Brown from the practice squad who would never have played in an NFL game anyway. I don’t know his name. As a practice squad member he had a bright future in the lingerie league I believe.
But I digress. Reports say that Brent initially refused to pull the nameless practice squad member out of his car because THE CAR WAS ON FIRE.
And this brings me to my topic today.
Mankind relies too much on fire.
For what is fire? Fire is heat. And what does heat cause?
Heat causes warming. Warming causes global warming. Global warming causes sea levels to rise. That’s a scientific fact. Deniers of global warming and other non-elites can look it up.
And if sea levels rise my vacation home in the Hamptons will be put at risk. I need my vacation home. I need down time from the masses to recharge my elite brain.
So when Josh Brent hesitated to pull the loser practice squad member from the burning car it was because he, like I, care about mother Earth. He, like myself, is concerned about global warming. That’s why he hesitated. He just cares about mother Earth too much.
And let me address Manhattan Infidel’s stupid knuckle-dragging readers directly.
Note: Alright Bob you and I have to talk.
Whenever you use fire or fire-implements you are contributing to global warming. You want to go camping with your kids? Maybe roast some marshmallows over the fire? Sounds harmless right?
Roasting marshmallows over a fire is Earth rape! And do you think your child can be proud of a rapist? Rapists do not belong in polite society. Which is why most join the NFL or the NBA.
But I digress. Let me close in saying that FIRE IS BAD!
Um. Thank you Bob. I’m sure our readers look forward to hearing from you again. (1089)