The much ballyhooed debate between Vice President Joe Biden and his arrogant mere congressional challenger Paul Ryan went off last night as expected: Joe Biden wiped the floor with the young upstart.
As an accredited member of the MSM (pending attorney general approval, of course) I had a chance to watch the debate with several of my colleagues. What follows are their reactions. Reactions which, I’m sure, all of my readers will no doubt share.
Biden won points on style
Several of the media remarked at how poised Biden looked at the podium.
“He looked amazingly lifelike” said one. “Not once did he start drooling.”
Another noticed how fashionable his clothes were.
“He was dressed properly in mens clothing. All the buttons on his shirt were buttoned. He was wearing a tie, which frankly none of us expected. It was a great change and looked much better than the usual bib he wears in public.”
Biden was the hands-down winner in the debate because of his forceful personality
The members of the media that I was sitting with all commented on his magnetic persona, which seemed to resonate in the air. Unlike the timid and out-of-his-league Ryan, Biden seems to know who he was. Literally.
“Almost every time the moderator called his name Biden recognized himself. Almost every time! There was only one time in the debate when the moderator said, ‘Mr. Vice President Biden’ and Biden turned to Ryan and said, ‘I think she means you.’ ”
Biden scored on substance
Unlike his challenger, the youthful Ryan, who kept trying to inject the tyranny of so-called facts and numbers into the debate, Biden refused to be drawn into that trap.
“He was magnificent. He clearly relished the opportunity to put the young punk in his place. He was at the top of his game.”
Said another reporter, “When Ryan brought up the unemployment rate, which was a dirty trick to do, Biden silenced him by mentioning his plan to lower unemployment by activating Skynet.”
Skynet sealed the deal
Biden’s mention of Skynet was the wildcard in the debate. He gambled and clearly won.
“Just the mention of Skynet seemed to throw Ryan off balance. He didn’t know how to respond. This was typical of how unprepared he (Ryan) was for this debate.”
Indeed Biden’s biggest applause of the night came when he detailed how Skynet would lower unemployment and help minorities.
“It’s a government program” said Biden. “And the government is much more efficient that the capitalists. Once Skynet is activated and the cyborgs take over, there will be no unemployment. The machines will put us to work. Government machines. And government cyborgs will be more compassionate than private-sector cyborgs, which my opponent seems to favor.”
And so on the basis of the evidence from the debate, I, with my fellow colleagues in the mainstream media, declare Vice President Joe Biden the clear winner.
And I’m not just saying that because I personally favor government-sector cyborgs. (98)