Suicide Bomber Convention Ends in Tragedy
Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
The first annual Suicide Bomber and Liberace Fan Club Convention in Las Vegas ended in tragedy today when one of the bombers died from an apparent food allergy.
“We had just come from buying new Air Jordan 2010 sneakers and were eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches” said Abdul-Majeed Hussein. “All of a sudden Fareed started choking and his face got real swollen. He collapsed and stopped breathing.”
Fareed Rasheen was taken to the hospital where he later died. An autopsy revealed that he died due to an allergic reaction to peanut butter.
Reaction to the death from the other suicide bombers ranged from disbelief to shock to anger.
“This is just like the infidel” said one. “We just wanted to come to Las Vegas and have a good time before killing Americans and one of us dies from peanut butter. I don’t trust peanut butter. The swirls in the peanut butter are anti-Islamic.”
Another bomber told police “I can’t believe Fareed is dead! He had so much to blow himself up for.”
From Pakistan the mother of the dead suicide bomber expressed anger at the American Government.
“My son should still be alive! When I encouraged him to become a suicide bomber I had no idea he would die.”
With her lawyer at her side she then announced a $500 million lawsuit against the Federal Government, The State of Nevada and Marg Helgenberger from the hit TV show CSI.
The Hard Rock Cafe and Casino, which was hosting the convention has started an internal investigation into the incident.
“We take it very seriously when our guests die. Well, except for John Entwistle of course.” said a spokesman for the hotel.
As for the suicide bombers themselves, they plan to take their convention elsewhere next year.
“The Hard Rock Cafe lied to us. They promised us Whitney Houston and she never showed up. First they kill us with peanut butter and then they deny us Whitney Houston. I am tired of their infidel tricks!”